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Monday, August 2, 2010

IPSE To Ballard Campaign Staff: In the Future Think "Baseball, Basball, Baseball"

OBSERVATION:  You'd think that when you are able to get bi-partisan support on an a big piece of legislation that in and of itself is noteworthy.  Well not so for the guys running the Ballard political machine gerbil-wheel.

In what can only be described as a politically amateurish play, Ballard's highly excitable campaign virgins send out an email before the vote. An obvious a case of premature e-clickulation.  Listen up fellas the next time you're planning your next campaign email blitz get the timing down, better yet...think baseball, baseball, baseball....Unfortunately because you lads couldn't control yourselves you've now made a political stain on your boss's biggest policy accomplishment to date.

So who's to blame? Obviously the bucks finally stops at the mayor, however since it is common knowledge that he has absolutely no political savvy we had to do a little research and according to sources all signs point to the Deputy Chief of Staff and Communications Director Robert Vane (RVAN) the young guy in the middle.  You might remember him from his playful spats with Jen Wagner of Accidental Mayor fame who gushed every time he looked her way. 

Well sorry to disappoint you Mr. Vane but over here a pretty face is temporary, a stupid decision lasts a lifetime. We suggest that you run over there and get your boys back on track quick, otherwise in 2011 your Democratic opponents are gonna' have you guys in the fetal position talking to yourselves. Finally, Robert the next time you are able to secure bi-partisan support (if there is a next time) act like you've had it before not like some teenager on his first date.

As for the three Democrats who are fuming that their article was used in the email? Sorry, you guys wrote it, it was published and it's now public record and legitimate fodder for you to run on or someone to run with. Get over it.


UP:  SiMi $70

DOWN:  GBAL $100, RVAN $90, NQAI $70


  1. 2011 is for Melina's to lose. These guys are toast. A candidate who can't communicate, I staff with no campaign experience and the numbers aganist them.

  2. Maybe if lil Bobbie V spent less time drinking with Abdul and Tom and exchanging one-liners he could do a better job communicating Ballard's message. Just a thought.

  3. Personally I think of former Reds owner Marge Schott. That always helps with my "control."

  4. Ballard with a message??? It would have to include "Can you supersize that?"

  5. Who put these guys in charge? My daughter's school student council has better campaign volunteers. Gets some balls Mayor!!

  6. Ballard is an empty suit that couldn't lead a pack of kindergarders in a kickball game. He was over his head when he was sworn in a panic signed over his balls to Bob Grand and Joe Loftus. How this guy looks at himself in the mirror every morning is beyond me. He is as Jen Wagner so aptly named him the "Accidental Mayor"...By the way Jen are you part of IPSE crew? ;)